Wednesday, August 17, 2005

 

Ask Annie

I have decided to have a permanent advice service which people can get to from the sidebar. Here it is. Post your problem in the comments section below and I will then answer it. It is up to you to change names, identifying characteristics etc to avoid libel cases and embarrassment. Obviously the usual proviso about psychopaths applies.

Comments:
Yes i've got a problem, when i click the problem page link it says not found. This is symptomatic of the half-assed American way.
 
Dr. Maroon,

I think that just may be the point.
 
I think it is a divine message signalling that blogger is rubbish, but I will work on it. And the link was only to here anyway.
 
I dont have anything to ask.

Do you think its an indication of a serious problem on my part?
Was that a regular question? And this? Does this mean that my initial statement was false?
 
lemuel,

1. No, because you are probably just thinking about something else at the time, such as one of the great composers.
2. Yes, in the new world order of complete anarchy that we have at the moment everything is regular, it just doesn't look that way to those in denial of the truth.
3. On the other hand, this one is not.
4. I can't remember what it was by now, so I will make an informed guess: true. Am I right?
 
Dear "Ask Annie"
Before we have sex, my boyfriend makes me take a very cold shower and then I must lie very still on the bed!
Is this wrong?
P.S. My boyfriend works in a Funeral Home.
 
Dear Annie,

further to my cry for help a few days ago regarding toenail chewing a have been taking your advice (and thank you so much, finally I feel like someone cares, even if they do not, really), and stopped going out altogether. So far so good, I've told work that I'm sick, so I'll see how long I can keep that up for before they find me out and sack me. Other than that there's nothing much to report, except for the occasional feeling of boredom and loneliness, which I imagine will increase in time. The good thing is, I can now devote much more time to my toenail biting without being shouted at, banned from the premises or simply manhandled out the door.
Expect to hear a lot more from me. I'll keep you posted.
Sincerely,
Freak
 
Dear muff diver,

It is not wrong unless you do not like it or it breaks one of the ten commandments, however it does sound extremely boring. But the issue here is more about personal safety.

Run away quickly before things escalate and it is too late! I cannot emphasise that strongly enough! Perhaps the police will give you a new identity if you ask them nicely. Good luck.
 
freak,

I am very glad your toenail addiction is finally working out. Remember that it is important to persevere with these things, do not let a small obstacle like the need to support yourself financially get in the way. Please do keep us informed about how you get on, good luck.
 
Actually, Muff Diver, I prefer a woman's skin to have a slightly cool feel, although obviously not stone cold. Scientists have shown that a woman's hands are a couple of degrees below normal body temperature, which is why they feel so great on a man's body. I've never been one for the 'burning flesh' concept of passionate love-making.
 
A long, long, very long time ago,
Minnesota Anne blogged here don't'cha know,
but times they have changed,
and remember shh - she's deranged,

Ahh, I'm bored. Do the last line yourselves.
 
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