Friday, August 19, 2005

 

just call me a management consultant, then again on second thoughts do not

There is quite a nice cafe around the corner from where I live, but it has two very major and severe problems. The first one, as usual, is the kind of people who go to the cafe. Most of them just sit there in silence with their computers, which completely destroys the whole atmosphere of the cafe because what is the point in going out and paying twenty five times as much as normal for your coffee if you are going to be in the same cybernet world you are in all the time at home anyway? It is both depressing to witness and excruciating to be around.

The other kind of person in this cafe who I hate is the opposite, she is the loud young female who is quite unattractive and does not care because she is not gender biased and can always be a lesbian if she wants and has not found out yet that actually nobody would be interested of either sex because all she ever does is SHOUT AT EVERYBODY ABOUT TOTALLY BORING STUFF CONSISTING OF HERSELF. I will not tell you what she says because it would bore you to death but her mother still has not accepted that she is an adult, and she is the most unusual unique person in the world and nobody seems to notice. I am not talking about one unique person here, I am talking about a whole breed of identical unique people, you can only tell them apart if you study their tattoo variations.

The second severe problem is the cafe food. I only want coffee when I go to a cafe usually, but this one also has food, except it has hardly any food, just a few scraps wrapped up there sweating in cling-film, the last piece of a pie from the week before last and a dried up old bagel and a couple of scones that belong in a rock-garden. The food is so ugly and off-putting it actually puts you off your coffee, which is not even food.

I would like to march into this cafe one day with a machine gun and take the place over, and run it properly. There would be plentiful and delicious food, a room for computer people which is shut off from the rest of civilisation with a soundproof door, and loud music everywhere else to cover up the sound of the unique individual women nobody understands BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING IN THEIR HEADS WORTH UNDERSTANDING. When it is a nice place to be again, normal humans could start coming and take the place over, if there are any of those left. One can only hope.

Comments:
Yes, I fear that lesbians are nowhere near as attractive as your 'adult entertainment industry' pretends. Personally, I think that if more non-lesbian women engaged in lesbian acts it would make them far more attractive to men.
 
I think I was in that cafe yesterday. I had one of the stone croissants.
 
Yes, it is particularly nice how they make you wait half an hour for those croissants so they can serve them to you perfectly burnt, I always think.
 
None of them understand tea and are therefore worthless. Even in england. All they have to do is put a fucking teabag in a cup and put BOILING water in it. Fuck's sake, it's not hard.
 
rob, you are right of course, but then they must put milk from a cow in it if they want milk, and not UHT milk which is made from the by-products of engine oil, or milk made from any kind of beans, which is unnatural because beans do not nurse their young.
 
My first wife came from Ireland. I still think about her once in a while. Your blog makes for enjoyable reading.
 
Well, thank God she went back then.
 
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